Shut Up About Your Purpose!

In our Level 2 workshop we show people how to live their purpose in their own unique way. That means being themselves, and sharing what they’re doing with others.

And when you talk about your purpose, everyone is going to have their say — which is great. It’s nice to share your story and get advice.

Except, everyone has a fear program just like you do, and a major aspect of it is Conformity — the fear that if a person is unique, their difference might not please others, and they might be rejected. You can read more about this here.

If you’re living a unique purpose — being yourself, being different — that’s really stepping out of the norm. The fear program of others will often view it as unattainable, lofty, irresponsible, risky, or even reckless. It worries you might upset people, or you won’t fit in, or you might embarrass yourself and be judged.

So to keep you ‘safe’ from all that, their fear program will peer pressure you into changing your purpose, so it’s more in line with what the majority prefer, expect, or even demand. That way, you’re more likely to fit in, be liked more, or avoid conflict.

And to achieve that, their fear program will question your decision, interrogate your plans, query your abilities, imagine all sorts of bad outcomes, share stories about anyone they know who did something similar and failed, and so much more — all in a vain attempt to get you to conform to the norm, so you don’t ‘rock the boat’.

They don’t mean to be mean — they mean well. They think they’re helping you, not hindering you. In their mind, they’re offering you an opinion to keep you ‘safe’ from what they fear the most, and they’re probably not even aware they’re doing it.

Because their fear program — just like yours — is subconscious. It operates beneath their conscious awareness and without their conscious consent — just like yours does. They probably have no idea they’re projecting their fears onto you, or how much your fear program will lap it up, or how much it will limit and suppress the true direction of your purpose.

Regardless, their advice is going to be subconsciously loaded with fear, which will add to your own. You may well have the steps to take to manage your own fears (Level 2), but not the fears of many others stacked on top — especially when their advice is linked to friendship, respect, or approval. You have enough fear to deal with. You don’t need any extra.

The Solution

The solution is very simple. Keep your purpose private until it's permanent — let your results speak for themselves. Some things grow better in silence. Don’t talk to anyone about your purpose unless it’s absolutely necessary — especially in the beginning when your purpose is raw. Otherwise, stop talking about it.

The more people you tell about your purpose, the more of their fears you’ll take on board, and the more you’ll crush your own dream.

But if you do have to share what you’re doing with others — because we all need advice and support — keep as much of it private as possible. Only tell people what they need to know, in order to help you.

For example, if you go to the hardware store to buy supplies, and the assistant asks you what you need and why, stick to specific, and avoid the big rave about your goals and dreams.

Say, “Hi. I need some heavy duty screws to hang a large wooden door”.

Don’t say, “Hi. I need some heavy duty screws to hang a large wooden door, because it leads into the kitchen I built in my garage, so I can work from home, with my new catering idea, that prepares restaurant-quality Keto meals for new mums who don’t have time to prepare healthy meals for their kids, that are low in carbs, don't food combine, no refined sugar …”.

You have just given that assistant more than 10 things for his fear program to doubt, question, or interrogate. And he will, given the chance. Even if he doesn’t, you will still notice or feel his silent judgement, which will activate your fears, and question your own dream. Do that to many people throughout the day, and your dream will be crushed flatter than a Keto pancake.

The same idea applies for those closest to you — probably more so. Your partner, family, friends, and colleagues usually share the same fear program as yourself —"Birds of a feather flock together."

So when you share your purpose with them, their fear-program is going to freak out about the same things you fear the most in your purpose. Their advice is going to activate even more of your fears than strangers do. That’s why they say the ‘worst’ advice often comes from the ones who love you the most — simply because their advice pushes more of your fear buttons.

So whenever possible — especially in the beginning stages — only share your purpose with those close to you if they understand you, support you, celebrate your success, and have a positive attitude. Good luck!

Otherwise, if you can, shut up about your purpose. Let it grow first. The more people you share your purpose with, the more of their external fear you’ll take on board. You can’t handle that much fear. No one can. It will activate too many of your own fears, which will gladly agree with their fear-based opinions, and your own fears will then do their best to subconsciously shut your purpose down.