Don't Know What to Do?

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I’ve been talking to people about purpose as far back as about 2013. And if you were to ask me what the biggest problem most people face with purpose is, I would have to say it’s losing their sense of purpose as they have gotten older.

In other words, they no longer know what to do in life, or they do know (at least deep down) but they don’t believe they can do it, and just can’t seem to get started. And not having a definitive sense of purpose is making them progressively more bored, frustrated, depressed, and confused about life.

And if that’s you, don't feel bad. In fact, welcome to the club. It seems like that’s happening to everyone over the age of about 30. And the cause of all of that is fear.

Now fear is one of those topics that's kinda been done to death, so let me clarify what I mean by that. And just to be clear, I’m not talking about the normal survival fears trying to keep us safe, such as our fear of snakes, or our fear of suspicious characters in dark alleys. Those fears need to be respected. The fears I’m talking about here, are the irrational personal fears that sabotage our dreams, such as the fear of change, the fear of failure, the fear of criticism, the fear of rejection, and so on.

And we all have those fears, and we’ve always had them, because we developed them in childhood. And I’ll go into more detail about those fears in later videos, but the childhood fear-program we bring with us into adulthood is as follows:

"... I can’t do what I really want to do in life because the world is a scary place, bad things might happen, people can’t be trusted, and there's not enough to support it. And even if I wanted to do it, I can’t do it well because I’m not good enough to do it. Plus I can’t do what I want to do anyway because I have to do what others expect me to do. And everybody else seems to be doing the same thing, and I don’t know any better, so why question any of it ..."

And with that belief running in the background of the mind, is it any wonder that people don’t live their true purpose in life.

Although, you might now be thinking, “Hang on a second! That’s not me! I don’t believe any of that nor do I think like that”. And that’s true! You don’t believe that or think like that consciously. But I’ll guarantee, you believe that and think like that subconsciously (at least on some level).

Because you see, your childhood fear-program is not a conscious thing. Your childhood fear-program is a deeply ingrained, decades-old, sub-conscious reaction to life. And it now runs automatically in the back of the mind, beneath your conscious awareness and without your conscious consent.

In other words, you think some variation of those fearful thoughts I just mentioned, yet it’s so subconscious, you probably don’t even know you're doing it most of the time. And thinking those subconscious thoughts, starts the following cycle of self-limitation and self-suppression.

For example, that first fear - “The world is a scary place, bad things might happen, people can’t be trusted, and there's not enough” - stops people from stepping outside their comfort zone, trying new things, doing things differently, living their dreams, and so on. Instead they tend to cling to routine, mostly doing the same things they’ve always done, in the same old way, over and over again.

It’s Groundhog Day. They wake up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, and go to bed; day after day after day, wondering why their life doesn’t change. And once people get into that routine, fear keeps them there, stuck in that overly-cautious mundane routine lifestyle, and that's where the problem compounds.

Because if people stay in their comfort zone, doing the same things they’ve always done, over and over again, there is no need for them to develop any new skills or talents. They instead, settle for some level of mediocrity, doing what they’ve always done, at the same level of ability. And that’s all backed up by the second fear, which has them believing, “I’m not good enough to do things well. So there's no point in bettering myself. I may as well just get by with the skills I already have.”

And if people keep doing what they’ve always done at the same level of ability, there's no passion to do things in their own unique way. They instead end up doing what everybody else expects them to do, to fill that void with approval. And that’s all backed up by the third fear, which has them believing, “I can’t do what I want to do anyway because I have to do what others expect me to do, to keep them happy, or gain their approval, or avoid conflict, and so on”

And if people keep doing what they’ve always done, at the same level of ability, to keep everybody else happy, they never get a chance to find out what they like or dislike, what drives them, what they’re good at and enjoy, who they are as a person, what inspires them, and what’s true for them. And if people don’t know that, it’s almost impossible for them to know what to do in life, hence the loss of purpose. And because subconscious fear is endemic in society, and the majority of people around them are living the same kind of purposeless life, they just assume it’s normal, and don’t question any of it.

And that’s all backed up by the last fear, which has them believing, “Everybody else seems to be doing the same thing, and I don’t know any better, so why question any of it. I’ll instead just keep my head in the sand, ignore the problem, and keep doing what I’ve always done, in the same old way”. Which feeds straight back into that base fear about the world being a scary place, to confirm what that base fear already has them doing, which is staying inside their comfort zone, to do what they’ve always done. And so the cycle continues.

And that subconscious cycle of fear-based limitation and suppression is the root cause of all unhappiness, most often experienced as a subtle yet constant nagging-dissatisfaction with one’s current life choices. And that nagging-dissatisfaction gets worse and worse as people get older, until it eventually becomes boredom, frustration, depression, and confusion (which are the four main symptoms of not having a clear purpose in life).

So what’s the solution? Well, the solution is to break the cycle by doing the exact opposite. In other words, instead of people doing what they've always done, at the same level of ability, to keep everybody else happy, and hence not knowing who they are or what they want to do in life; they need to do the following:

They need to try new things, do things differently, and explore their world, so they find out what excites them and what drives them. They need to do those things to the very best of their ability, so they find out what they’re good at and enjoy doing. And they need to do those things in their own unique way, so they find out what they’re passionate about, and what inspires them.

Because that’s how a person gets to know thyself. And the more a person knows who they are – especially what excites them, what they’re good at, and what they’re passionate about - the more they’ll know what to do in life (or at least what to do next). And not only what to do next but also how to do it, when to do it, where to do it, who to do it with, and why they’re doing it. In short, they’ll get their sense of purpose back.

And that’s exactly what true purpose is - living the most adventurous, talented, passionate, wisest life possible; to challenge thyself, to develop thyself, to express thyself, to know thyself. Not only is that the secret to true lasting happiness, but the increased levels of adventure, talent, passion, and wisdom you gain from doing so; will gradually dissolve the dread, mediocrity, conformity, and ignorance of the subconscious fear program layer by layer.

And with less fear, you’ll crave even bigger adventures, want more talent, defend more passion, and seek even greater wisdom; all of which will just end up making you even happier. Rinse and repeat. Until you become so happy, your friends and family start to question your sanity.

But before you can do any of that, you first have to know what your true purpose is. And not just a truer purpose, but a purpose based on what you’re already excited by, good at, passionate about, and know well; so it’s believable and achievable, and you actually get started.

And that’s why I’ve written a little eBook (Click here), dedicated to helping you find your true purpose in life, which is why it’s so cleverly and brilliantly titled, “Find Your True Purpose in Life”. And it goes into a lot more detail about what a true purpose is, how to find it, and how to live it in your own life. And best of all, it’s totally free.

Download a free copy of my eBook “Find Your True Purpose in Life”. It tells you everything you need to know.